5: Relaxin' for a Splashin': You are getting ready to take a bath after a hard day of work answering client calls at Rogers. Putting the phone on vibrate, it is left on the counter beside the bathtub. You go to the closet to get a clean towel. While you are away, your boyfriend sends you an unknown text message. Your Virgin Nokia receives the text message like it always does. The presence of the text vibrates your phone. The sound of the phone rattling on the countertop is audible but you think nothing of it. Your devious phone wiggles its way precariously to the countertop's edge. You return just in time to see it land in the water and sink to the bottom... plunge.
4:The Routine Plunge: Going grocery shopping at the new super-Walmart. Found a great parking spot near the front adjacent to the handicapped parking. Shifting your weight to open the car door, your cell phone (Bell iphone) falls out of your pocket. With the door open, the shiny mass then bounces merrily on the step of the door, then again on the ground. With the third and final bounce it slips its shiny touch screen between the gratings of a sewer, splash.
3: Mindlessness: Tim is your son. He is 15 at this age he is staring to break out with acne as his hormones run experiments leaving his curly brown hair perpetually greasy and oh, he keeps on losing things too. His Star Wars lunchbox, his right winter glove and now... your new Telus Blackberry Tour. Oh Timmy, not again...
2: Another one bites the dust: Your morning routine started like it always does, alarm goes off at 7 am. You are out of bed by 7:10. 7:20 you eat breakfast. 7:45 you are almost ready to go you have your phone, your wallet and your bus pass. As you pass the mirror on the way out, oh crap, what is that stuck in your teeth? Back to the bathroom for further investigation. Your Fido cell phone previously in your right hand is placed absent-mindedly on the basin to the right of the sink. You lean forwards towards the bathroom mirror for a closer look at the discoloration between your teeth. You think to yourself, 'hmmm the sushi from last nigg...gght'. Precisely.97 seconds earlier, your hip inadvertently set off a catastrophic chain reaction as it nudged the phone's center of gravity. The phone waivers to the right and gravity takes over. Trajectory: the toilet bowl. Estimated time of arrival:.53 seconds.
1: Cruisin' for a Bruisin': You are out for a bike ride with your favorite new Blackberry Bold it has a MP3. It is in your chest pocket of your North Face windbreaker as you soak up the glory of bicycling along the smooth bike path with your favorite tunes rolling. It has been 45 minutes now and everything is perfect. The weather, ideal. The temperature, cool yet comfortable. The calorie count, nearing 300. Then you feel something fall, in the following fraction of a second, the biker behind you sees an object fall and break to pieces, he doesn't stop. You don't hear anything but feel a slip and out of your peripheral vision you see little pieces fly everywhere on the bike path. Little did you know that during this ride, with each stride, your body shifted ever so slightly edging that treasured item closer to the zipper. The weight of the Blackberry slowly pushed the zipper further and further down, until the beast could escape. There goes $400 dollars. Game Over.
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